I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
