i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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