your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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