I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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