i don't like sucking hair
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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