Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize