Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
