this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Drunk is not a location!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
