he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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