is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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