That's intense
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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