Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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