He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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