Slut skills are useful in every country.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
