Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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