Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
