I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Acid is not a monday night drug
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
