He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Then you guys just all showered together...?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize