Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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