yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
