Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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