yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
