I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So much rum. So many feels.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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