Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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