i barfeds in our rink
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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