my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
