dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
