Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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