Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
