Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
