It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
