This girl is more easily done than said...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had to cum in my sink.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
