Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
