he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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