pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
