Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
