THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
