so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
