i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
