did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
