Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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