too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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