the new term for farting is butt boxing.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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