I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
