she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
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I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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