I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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