He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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