careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
