There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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