You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
