I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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