weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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