Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
