Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
