There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
