Well apparently he's into motor boating.
too bad you live with your parents still
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
