Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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