is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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