LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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