She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
