when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
