If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and she was petting her beer can
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
