i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
