Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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